Thursday, February 26, 2015

Top 5 Transformative Events for the Introverted Mum

The year 2015 has come.But why have I not embraced it as of yet?Why do I still feel stuck in 2014??

The reason brings me to an unexpected flashback.

It dated back to January.Mid Jan,i believe so.Maybe i could be wrong.I have just returned from a trip which seemed to have bouts of romance being churned around.The first year of marital romance can be interestingly hypnotising especially if none had gone on a planned honeymoon.More than marriage,it may deem as a long distance relationship which turned out successful.So far,thank God for that.
Meeting his parents after some time can be taxing as the expected questions pop up.Some relatives blabbered about an unusual glow on my face,which i had no idea of.Come on,I had never really looked myself in the mirror to even notice if i was glowing or not.All i know is that i looked perfectly normal.And thatz plain Jane me and that suffices!!When i reached back home after much exhaustion after meeting them,now it was the turn to face my parents.

Upon much persistence, i finally bought a kit.And i was so sure that the results were surely going to be negative.
But moments later,i was in for a deep shock!!!

Result: Positive!!

Now,what the hell was that?I did the test again and yet again it adamantly persists!!

I was impregnated!!

The first few moments struck me so hard that I barely moved.I was on the ground,with my spine leaned against my wardrobe.I recollected how both of us were definitely on the same page,not even thinking of a baby at that point of time.I remember panicking like this when i got surprisingly engaged.And married.And now this??? 

Life happened.Now anothe life had been procreated and is now sleeping soundly next to me.But sadly as I write,my inner voice crept in my mind,making me look at her as i write each alphabet.Is she going to wake up now?Will she open her eyes and start crying this instant??

So anyone who has gotten acquainted with a new mum will know that this has been experienced before.Of course,some new mummies are desperate and eager to embrace their special love with open arms but girls,was I just so super confused and dumbstruck when my bundle of joy appeared before me.

She was definitely,without a speck of doubt,special and a true gift from my Lord.She is gorgeous,i know it but am I worthy enough to be her mum?I felt so incomplete for some reason,as though I didn't deserve her or my hubby in the first place.

All my life i had been so uncomfortable with change.

But change is such an inevitable part of life,you just gotta embrace it,be it openly or forcefully.
As a writer myself, i can relate to the fact that characters face all sorts of hurdles in the name of metamorphosis.However,it is such an irony that we ourselves feel totally out of our comfort zone when the same principle is being applied to us. 

As a new mum,it wasn't much of a problem but if introversion was to be applied to the status shuffle,you can count T-R-O-U-B-L-E!!!

The top 5 Transformative Events for me in year 2015:

1.I have become accustomed to the fact that i will most likely be alone in raising my baby..There are no excuses about that and i will want her to sleep as much as possible so that i can catch up on my own!!There will surely be questions rising based on my upbringing from all sorts of freakish people (talking abt relatives here,btw) but my baby is slowly exuding confidence in me!!

2.Introversion will be highly part of my routine and so will be her's!!She has got to accept me the way i am.I am pretty sure she will have problems at first.She will expect to cuddle,be entertained by me all the time but she has got to learn to play on her own too!!With time,i cross my fingers and pray to my Lord to make that happen!!

3.I got fat and my loved ones love to comment on my physique so much that i have decided to play music on full blast..You think i got much time for myself?Itz great enough that i have not turned into a zombie from insufficient sleep as of yet.Sometimes my energy get drained so much that i can barely fret but cry myself to sleep.Super sensitivity has got to me!!!

4.Opening up to my closest one has been always difficult since itz really,really hard to communicate with him.Even if he tries to understand and comfort me,sometimes it just seems that i don't want to burden him with my endless sentiments.Mind you,i am no whiner but our love languages are poles apart so i let it be most of the time.

5.I still continue to write but this time round,itz while breastfeeding and also trying to work under time frames,which i have mever done so in my life by far.My baby does seem to have a miraculous effect on me,in the sense that she would indirectly push me to work hard towards my passion for writing and not to give up on them,no matter how long it may take!!!

At the end of the day,itz always worth having a baby by your side who simply listens to you blabbering away and nods as though she understands every word that pops from your mouth.Sometimes you just need that in life;getting away from all the hustles and hectic days and just gazing at her innocent smiles!!

I will love to hear from all of you..Drop a message and spread optimism around till i'm back with another inspiring post!!!